Husband (What I wrote)

  • Name: Vong
  • Age: 32
  • Hobbies: Almost any sport, music, power naps
  • Love language: Physical touch
  • Best Quality: Teaches you to see the other side of people’s story
  • Worst Quality: Selective Memory

Recently, my husband and I started disagreeing again. However, this time (after 10 years) I am realized he needs to speak his mind too and that I needed to listen. My husband is the type that doesn’t say much, but when he does he keeps it short and powerful, which was what my mom liked about him.

My husband is one of the most humbling people when it comes to showing the true meaning of unconditional love. For example, after I finish venting he would tell me to try and see the other side of the story. What has that person gone through to act the way that they do? There are other times where I feel like people are abusing his access to resources, but he tells me it’s because they don’t have it.

One thing for sure though (despite his selective memory) is that he doesn’t forget what made him fall in love with me, I was the chaser. He never had anyone purse him because when he met a girl he would tell him his goal for the relationship. Which was to get married, but every women that he met left because they got scared. My husband believes that dating isn’t just a social thing, but the reason for marriage. The funny thing is I didn’t take him seriously when he told me what his goal was for the relationship.

Here we are 10 years later.

Wife (What he wrote)

  • Name: Beautiful
  • Age: 31
  • Hobbies: Watching movies, writing in her jounral, walking
  • Love Language: Gift giving
  • Best Quality: Doesn’t settle for less, blunt, beautiful
  • Worse Quality: Needs to be in control

My wife is everything that I didn’t think I needed. She keeps me on track and doesn’t let me settle for less. I am grateful for her being blunt most of the time as it lets me know to keep moving forward. She has the best interest of a person in mind even though it doesn’t seem like it and she sees what they are capable of. I see a person and see what they’ve been through. I believe that God has brought us together to teach each other how to balance each other out. Too much of my thinking and it enables a person to stay drowned in their trauma. Too much of her’s and it discourages a person that is not yet ready to move on. Mix us together and we see a broken person that needs healing but at the same time seeing what they are capable of when they are ready to move on.

My wife is also very good at observation. She will be able to tell you (bluntly) why something didn’t work and I never admit it but she is usually right. I grew up with little to no encouragement as my parents believe that once you believe that you are good enough, you have no more room to grow. They constantly compared us to others and told us to try harder than what we were already doing. This made me grow up believing I was never good enough. I learned that failure was not an option so if you don’t try then you can’t fail or if you only do the things you are comfortable with then the chances of failure are less. My wife pushes me to be the best that I can be and reminds me that it is time to move on when I hold to my past. She could be a little more empathetic at times but I know its just her character of not letting me settle for less than I am capable of.

We met each other when I was attending my first year of college in Michigan. I had always like deep talks and girls would shy away as I enjoy deep conversations and not small talk. My wife was the first girl that didn’t run away after the second conversation which caught me by surprise. A girl that was beautiful, loves God, around my age and Hmong that is pursuing me? It was a dream come true, I knew I had to pursue her also.

Here we are ten years later.

Solomon Admires His Bride’s Beauty
4 Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
behold, you are beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
and not one among them has lost its young.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
and your mouth is lovely.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
behind your veil.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
built in rows of stone;[a]
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle,
that graze among the lilies.
6 Until the day breathes
and the shadows flee,
I will go away to the mountain of myrrh
and the hill of frankincense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my love;
there is no flaw in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride;
come with me from Lebanon.
Depart[b] from the peak of Amana,
from the peak of Senir and Hermon,
from the dens of lions,
from the mountains of leopards.
9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much better is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11 Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
honey and milk are under your tongue;
the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
a spring locked, a fountain sealed.
13 Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates
with all choicest fruits,
henna with nard,
14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
with all trees of frankincense,
myrrh and aloes,
with all choice spices—
15 a garden fountain, a well of living water,
and flowing streams from Lebanon.
16 Awake, O north wind,
and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
let its spices flow.

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